I have a weird form of impulse buying.
Lets take, as an example, my saga of buying a PS3. Ever since it came out, I mulled over the prospect of buying one. It has some great games, great features, is region free (a big thing for me as I import stuff from Japan) and has killer computing power. The thing was, for a long time, there were other things that I needed to spend $300 on, like, say food and tuition and rent. I would reason my way out of the desire, pressing it down into the lower reaches of my conciousness and go about taking care of the necessities of life. I would see trailers for games and hear conversations by friends that would raise the specter of desire and I would brutally shove it down again.
Fast forward to some 3 years later. I am meandering through Fry's Electronics (always a dangerous thing when you have unsatified technical fantasies) and I notice that they are selling refurbished PS3's in the wake of the newer slimmer model that had just released. It was just too good of a deal to ignore. A game that I really wanted to play had just released from my favorite studio and now this sale hits me at a weak moment, a time where I had already decided to spend some money (I was pot committed if you will). So I walk over and grab a box. Then I look up the row and see the brand new model sitting there at full price. I look at the box and wonder at the stories that this pre-owned console may have, what conditions it had been in before, how some uncaring tech may have poorly re-soldered some components and a catastrophic failure that could happen and the extra money I would end up paying. The potential was too great for my mind. I put the box down and grabbed the new model and walked out with a much much lighter wallet. This is a pattern. Anything over a couple hundred dollars goes through this process for me.
Now I don't regret this purchase. Not really. But what is illustrated here? A repressed desire will grow until one day some catalyst will transform it into an uncontrollable urge with consequences larger than it ever would have been had the desire been fulfilled initially.
I am desperately thirsty. I want a lot of things, a lot of which can be attained easily through sin. Self-righteous culture tells me to deny these impulses, that desires are unholy and should be suppressed. Post-modern culture tells me to satify every desire and constantly bombards me with messages about how to do so and shows me a myriad of people who are doing so and enjoying it. As Christians we are caught between denial and indulgence, between holiness and debauchery with many strategies to win mental battles but with few motivations to win heart battles.
"I will feast the soul of the priests with abundnce, and my people shall be satisfied with my goodness, declares the Lord." Jeremiah 31:14
Two things. He says he will feast the soul. This is not a promise of material blessing, something to satisfy our minds and senses. This is a promise that he satisfies the root, the innermost part of our being. He goes beyond what we think will fulfill our desires and fills the very essence of the desire itself, a longing and emptiness in our souls. He then says that they will be satisfied with his goodness, not his gifts. He makes certain that our satisfaction is rooted in something that will never change and will never depart and that is himself.
Remember, this is written to his people who are in exile. They are in a pagan culture where they are being told every day that their way is not the best way, their God is a farce and that they can have everything they have ever wanted if they will simply live like everyone else. They are in Babylon, which is used in Revelation as a metaphor for the most sin drenched depth that mankind can reach.
God knows that simply giving them a list of "do nots" will do nothing to combat the enticement of the culture around them. Instead he tells them, "Don't trust them, trust me. I will do far more for you than they can. I will satisfy you so much more deeply than they can ever know. Don't deny your desires, they will keep coming back. Come to me and have them filled."
"Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me" is not a call to not satisfy the desires of our heart. It is a call to give up our own control and our own ideas of how to satisfy them. It is God saying, "Look, you can do what everybody else is doing to work at satisfying yourself or you can do it my way. My way looks like the cruelest, most agonizing thing you can ever choose because to all the world, it will look like you are giving up something great. They will ridicule you and call you foolish. But the weight of my cross on your back is the weight of my love for you, a reminder of my goodness to you, a taste of what I have done for you. You have me and I am good."
So don't bury your desires, trying to pretend they don't exist, trying to hide them from God in some silly notion that we can fool God into thinking we are holier than we are. Open them before him. Tell him what your mind is telling you that you need. Then ask him to fill you. Ask him to remind you of his promise. Ask him to give you a vision and a faith to make the future vision a present reality. Ask him and ask him often. Every day, every moment if you have to. Whatever it takes to attain the attitude that Paul had "Whatever gain I had, I count as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened...If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father (who is good!) who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I Want You to Want Me
You know that 1977 song by Cheap Trick.
"I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'd love you to love me
I'm beggin you to beg me"
I am an attention whore. I like it and I crave it. I love being the center of attention and not only that but the center of affection. I want to approval of everybody in the room. My public life, my words, my actions often center on this desire. Every person is the object of my desire.
Except God.
At least at the beginning.
See we are all like this. As sinful man we run far and fast from God. We don't want him, we want ourselves. We don't want his plan, we want ours. We want pleasure NOW, not pleasure later. We never really seek God's attention. We don't try to claw our way up to heaven begging for God to take notice of us. We beg and claw and fight and strive for the attention of those who are around us.
"Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner?” Ruth 2:10
Ruth asks Boaz this question after he pledges his protection over her in his fields and offers her provision of drink if she is thirsty. She does this while on her knees, face to the ground, recognizing that no Israelite in his right mind should offer this blessing to a former oppressor, a foreigner and a stranger.
I was struck by this question. In context, Ruth had done plenty worth noting, namely her loyatly to her mother in law, and her good reputation preceded her. However, I read those words and I can't help but think,
"Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a sinner?"
When God called me out of darkness, I was not seeking him. I was rebelling against everything I had learned about him, making my own path, choosing what to please myself with. Yet he was the one not content to let me finish my hell bound race. He was the one who poured his spirit into my life. He was the one who drew me back to himself so that I could have eternal life instead of eternal death. He was the one who sent his son to die so that I could be saved.
"God, why do you bother?" I often ask that question in my struggle with sin. "Why do you convict me? Why do you work to bring me back? Why do you exert your will? Why do you never give up? Why do you want me?"
His answer is actually a little bit like that song.
"I want you to want me
but I don't need you to need me
I'd just love you to love me
but I won't beg you to beg me.
Didn't I, didn't I didn't I see you crying?
Feelin all alone without a friend, I know you felt like dyin
Didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?"
He did indeed. And he came, not because I begged him, but because he saw me, before the beginning of time, and he loved me, not because of me, but because of who he is.
We find favor because he is favorable, not because we are. So we don't need to vie for God's attention. We don't need to impress him or claw over each other and compete to get his time or his blessing. We are free to experience his love and blessing and care knowing its not dependant upon us. We can rest in assurance. And the more we realize this, the more we drink of this water, the less thirsty we become for anything but God until what Jesus said to the woman at the well becomes absolutely true.
"whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never thirst again." John 4:14
"I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'd love you to love me
I'm beggin you to beg me"
I am an attention whore. I like it and I crave it. I love being the center of attention and not only that but the center of affection. I want to approval of everybody in the room. My public life, my words, my actions often center on this desire. Every person is the object of my desire.
Except God.
At least at the beginning.
See we are all like this. As sinful man we run far and fast from God. We don't want him, we want ourselves. We don't want his plan, we want ours. We want pleasure NOW, not pleasure later. We never really seek God's attention. We don't try to claw our way up to heaven begging for God to take notice of us. We beg and claw and fight and strive for the attention of those who are around us.
"Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner?” Ruth 2:10
Ruth asks Boaz this question after he pledges his protection over her in his fields and offers her provision of drink if she is thirsty. She does this while on her knees, face to the ground, recognizing that no Israelite in his right mind should offer this blessing to a former oppressor, a foreigner and a stranger.
I was struck by this question. In context, Ruth had done plenty worth noting, namely her loyatly to her mother in law, and her good reputation preceded her. However, I read those words and I can't help but think,
"Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a sinner?"
When God called me out of darkness, I was not seeking him. I was rebelling against everything I had learned about him, making my own path, choosing what to please myself with. Yet he was the one not content to let me finish my hell bound race. He was the one who poured his spirit into my life. He was the one who drew me back to himself so that I could have eternal life instead of eternal death. He was the one who sent his son to die so that I could be saved.
"God, why do you bother?" I often ask that question in my struggle with sin. "Why do you convict me? Why do you work to bring me back? Why do you exert your will? Why do you never give up? Why do you want me?"
His answer is actually a little bit like that song.
"I want you to want me
but I don't need you to need me
I'd just love you to love me
but I won't beg you to beg me.
Didn't I, didn't I didn't I see you crying?
Feelin all alone without a friend, I know you felt like dyin
Didn't I didn't I didn't I see you crying?"
He did indeed. And he came, not because I begged him, but because he saw me, before the beginning of time, and he loved me, not because of me, but because of who he is.
We find favor because he is favorable, not because we are. So we don't need to vie for God's attention. We don't need to impress him or claw over each other and compete to get his time or his blessing. We are free to experience his love and blessing and care knowing its not dependant upon us. We can rest in assurance. And the more we realize this, the more we drink of this water, the less thirsty we become for anything but God until what Jesus said to the woman at the well becomes absolutely true.
"whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never thirst again." John 4:14
Friday, January 20, 2012
A Taste of Something Greater
We all have our lists. What list is that? Its the "Heaven would not be heaven without _____" list. This is the list that every Christian has as we look around the world and then think, "You know, having God around will be pretty cool and all but I don't think I can be eternally joyful without this thing that I have right now". I've heard some pretty amusing ones in my time and I have some of my own. Heaven would not be heaven without...
1. McDonalds fries. And there, they will always be perfectly salted, not left to the whim of the store manager.
2. The ability to get around the world in minutes, presumably by flying. How can we enjoy the beauty of a new heaven and a new earth without being able to get around on a whim? I imagine grabbing somebody's hand, saying "Hey, lets go see a sunset on a canyon", jumping up into the air and landing after a pleasant jaunt through the skies just on time to see it.
3. Which reminds me, sunsets. Or something in the sky kind of like it. If there is no night, and no light apart from God, there is no sunset. But God can put colors in the sky if he wants. And thats what I want.
4. Healing powers like Wolverine from the X-Men. I mean we will have immortal bodies. Its gotta be something like that.
5. Lightsabers. With man's wisdom, many things are impossible. With God's wisdom, nothing is impossible. Besides, Genesis 3:24 said a cherubim had a flaming sword. The Hebrew word there means to burn, blaze, scorch, kindle, blaze up, flame (not kidding, look it up). Since they did not have Star Wars then, they didn't know how else to describe it. If they had known, the Bible would say lightsaber. Guaranteed.
The truth is, we don't really know what to expect of heaven. We get these images of wings and harps and clouds and golden streets from culture and think..."thats kinda boring..." and we desperately search for what will fulfill our desires for an eternal home. The thing is, what we think about where we are going can be either incredibly motivating or awfully deflating. We desperately want to have an idea of where we are going so that we know we are making the right choice by choosing God now. We want to know if giving up the pleasures of this world is worth it and our hearts need constant convincing.
"'But if you listen to me, declares the LORD, and bring in no burden by the gates of this city on the Sabbath day, but keep the Sabbath day holy and do no work on it, then there shall enter by the gates of this city kings and princes who sit on the throne of David, riding in chariots and on horses, they and their officials, the men of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem. And this city shall be inhabited forever." Jeremiah 17:24-25
Jeremiah is a book that is mostly full of God's judgement on Israel. He lists their offenses often in the book and the judgment God sends is clearly deserved. Here is the interesting thing. This language that Jeremiah uses is parralell language to the descriptions of heaven in Isaiah 60 and Revelation 21 ("the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it"). We know that heaven is a guarantee. We know that Jerusalem will become what is promised in Jeremiah whether the nation obeys at this time or not. God will not break his covenant. And yet he makes this conditional statement, "if you listen to me...".
What I think God is trying to say here is that if we listen and obey him, he will give us a taste of heaven while we are here on earth. Like so many of his other promises, these blessings are promises of double fulfillment, partial fulfillment now and complete fulfillment later.
I am desperately thirsty. Though the promise of heaven is alluring and the reward there tantalizing, it sometimes is not enough to keep me from temptation. This life may be short in view of eternity but our journies are long. We constantly must fight temptations and worldly promises and it so often saps our strength. We need something more than a future blessing and future grace. The amazing thing is, God gives that to us. He doesn't have to but he knows us, he knows our hearts. He knows that we are creatures of desire; he made us that way. He is gracious and wants us near him so he gives, as it is in his nature to give. He does make it conditional though, knowing that the one who obeys him will glorify him as he deserves for his grace, and the one who does not obey will not testify to his goodness.
What does this taste of heaven look like? Well what I know of heaven is this. We will have no need. We will have no want. God will be with us. We will be filled with joy and glorify him for eternity. Whatever that looks like on this earth, I want that. I want to be at peace about putting food on my table because God has provided. I want to get to the point where I want nothing, not because I have bought everything I want but because I am utterly content with what God has graciously given. This thirst, God has promised to fulfill if I obey, so I will obey, knowing that I will experience something amazing here, and knowing that that amazement will be magified infinitely on the other side of eternity.
And what could be more amazing than holding a lightsaber in my hand some day? Or at least walking by some cherubim holding one. Yup, going to stick by that. Its in the Bible.
"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack." Psalm 34:8-9
1. McDonalds fries. And there, they will always be perfectly salted, not left to the whim of the store manager.
2. The ability to get around the world in minutes, presumably by flying. How can we enjoy the beauty of a new heaven and a new earth without being able to get around on a whim? I imagine grabbing somebody's hand, saying "Hey, lets go see a sunset on a canyon", jumping up into the air and landing after a pleasant jaunt through the skies just on time to see it.
3. Which reminds me, sunsets. Or something in the sky kind of like it. If there is no night, and no light apart from God, there is no sunset. But God can put colors in the sky if he wants. And thats what I want.
4. Healing powers like Wolverine from the X-Men. I mean we will have immortal bodies. Its gotta be something like that.
5. Lightsabers. With man's wisdom, many things are impossible. With God's wisdom, nothing is impossible. Besides, Genesis 3:24 said a cherubim had a flaming sword. The Hebrew word there means to burn, blaze, scorch, kindle, blaze up, flame (not kidding, look it up). Since they did not have Star Wars then, they didn't know how else to describe it. If they had known, the Bible would say lightsaber. Guaranteed.
The truth is, we don't really know what to expect of heaven. We get these images of wings and harps and clouds and golden streets from culture and think..."thats kinda boring..." and we desperately search for what will fulfill our desires for an eternal home. The thing is, what we think about where we are going can be either incredibly motivating or awfully deflating. We desperately want to have an idea of where we are going so that we know we are making the right choice by choosing God now. We want to know if giving up the pleasures of this world is worth it and our hearts need constant convincing.
"'But if you listen to me, declares the LORD, and bring in no burden by the gates of this city on the Sabbath day, but keep the Sabbath day holy and do no work on it, then there shall enter by the gates of this city kings and princes who sit on the throne of David, riding in chariots and on horses, they and their officials, the men of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem. And this city shall be inhabited forever." Jeremiah 17:24-25
Jeremiah is a book that is mostly full of God's judgement on Israel. He lists their offenses often in the book and the judgment God sends is clearly deserved. Here is the interesting thing. This language that Jeremiah uses is parralell language to the descriptions of heaven in Isaiah 60 and Revelation 21 ("the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it"). We know that heaven is a guarantee. We know that Jerusalem will become what is promised in Jeremiah whether the nation obeys at this time or not. God will not break his covenant. And yet he makes this conditional statement, "if you listen to me...".
What I think God is trying to say here is that if we listen and obey him, he will give us a taste of heaven while we are here on earth. Like so many of his other promises, these blessings are promises of double fulfillment, partial fulfillment now and complete fulfillment later.
I am desperately thirsty. Though the promise of heaven is alluring and the reward there tantalizing, it sometimes is not enough to keep me from temptation. This life may be short in view of eternity but our journies are long. We constantly must fight temptations and worldly promises and it so often saps our strength. We need something more than a future blessing and future grace. The amazing thing is, God gives that to us. He doesn't have to but he knows us, he knows our hearts. He knows that we are creatures of desire; he made us that way. He is gracious and wants us near him so he gives, as it is in his nature to give. He does make it conditional though, knowing that the one who obeys him will glorify him as he deserves for his grace, and the one who does not obey will not testify to his goodness.
What does this taste of heaven look like? Well what I know of heaven is this. We will have no need. We will have no want. God will be with us. We will be filled with joy and glorify him for eternity. Whatever that looks like on this earth, I want that. I want to be at peace about putting food on my table because God has provided. I want to get to the point where I want nothing, not because I have bought everything I want but because I am utterly content with what God has graciously given. This thirst, God has promised to fulfill if I obey, so I will obey, knowing that I will experience something amazing here, and knowing that that amazement will be magified infinitely on the other side of eternity.
And what could be more amazing than holding a lightsaber in my hand some day? Or at least walking by some cherubim holding one. Yup, going to stick by that. Its in the Bible.
"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack." Psalm 34:8-9
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Into the Light
Most of us have things we would rather keep in the dark, little idiocycracies that we fear may change the way people look at us. I had a roomate in college, for example who kept secret for a long time his guilty pleasure TV show, one inherited from an old girlfriend of his. Incidentally, it kind of became a guilty pleasure show for all of us, so I definately identify with the reason he kept it a secret for as long as he could. What show was it? Well, let just say its about some girls that go by the name of Gilmore.
Those of you reading this that did not know that, your perception of me changed a bit didn't it?
And yet, you get a more complete picture of who I am. My words and opinions can now be evaluated as those coming from one who appreciates snarky dialog, complex relationships and societal expectations. What is exposed gives meaning and nuance and significance to the object in question.
I have many more guilty pleasures, pleasures that aren't nearly as innocent as television shows about young, rich, witty women. I am, as I have said, desperately thirsty. These pleasures are ones that I would much rather keep in the dark and never expose to the light of day, to the light of public opinion and to the light of truth. These are all encompassing. Do I really want people to know how much I enjoy tearing people down with smart sarcasm? How I revel in the rush of power I feel when expressing anger? How I love the sense of accomplishment when I successfully tell a lie? How I long for the giddiness and carelessness that comes with being drunk? How I relish the false intimacy of a relationship that begins and ends at a club or even a screen? What happens when this is exposed?
"for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light." Ephesians 5:8-14a
Right at the end of this passage is this amazing truth buried in a metaphor of the physcial world. What we don't often think about is that everything we "see" in this world is really just rays of light from our sun. These rays come from millions of miles away, reflect off of objects, losing some of its characteristics but retaining its essence, and enter into our eyes for our brains to process. What we actually see is the light of the source reflected off of exposed surfaces.
The beauty of what Christ does is that whatever we expose to him becomes a surface that reflects his glory. I think this is what it means when Paul says "for anything that becomes visible is light." Anything, whether it be our gifts, our good works, our obedience and even our sin, when it comes into the light of Christ becomes something that reflects the glory of who he is.
Now exposure in this sense is not simply letting everybody know what this thing is, whether good or evil. It is exposure to men AND exposure to the sanctification of God through the Holy Spirit. I am by no means advocating the continuation of sin because God is glorified by it. However, as children of grace being sanctified by his Spirit, I am saying that even the darkest moments of our depravity, when exposed to God and to men, is a testimony of the overwhelming beauty and glory of God and his Christ. It shows the depth of grace that God wields to save us and the depth of goodness that God has to fill us and the depth of love that God feels for him to even want to do either.
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed..." James 5:16
God, you are in fact light. You are the source of the universe which all things reflect. Thank you that this light cannot be overcome by any darkness, even the darkness of our depravity. Help us to bring what was once done in darkness into light so that we can show just how beautiful you are, just how fulfilling you are, and just how gracious you are to a world that is settling for the very things that we used to settle for. Show in us and through us just what it is that you have to offer a dieing and depraved world. Help us reflect your glory.
Those of you reading this that did not know that, your perception of me changed a bit didn't it?
And yet, you get a more complete picture of who I am. My words and opinions can now be evaluated as those coming from one who appreciates snarky dialog, complex relationships and societal expectations. What is exposed gives meaning and nuance and significance to the object in question.
I have many more guilty pleasures, pleasures that aren't nearly as innocent as television shows about young, rich, witty women. I am, as I have said, desperately thirsty. These pleasures are ones that I would much rather keep in the dark and never expose to the light of day, to the light of public opinion and to the light of truth. These are all encompassing. Do I really want people to know how much I enjoy tearing people down with smart sarcasm? How I revel in the rush of power I feel when expressing anger? How I love the sense of accomplishment when I successfully tell a lie? How I long for the giddiness and carelessness that comes with being drunk? How I relish the false intimacy of a relationship that begins and ends at a club or even a screen? What happens when this is exposed?
"for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light." Ephesians 5:8-14a
Right at the end of this passage is this amazing truth buried in a metaphor of the physcial world. What we don't often think about is that everything we "see" in this world is really just rays of light from our sun. These rays come from millions of miles away, reflect off of objects, losing some of its characteristics but retaining its essence, and enter into our eyes for our brains to process. What we actually see is the light of the source reflected off of exposed surfaces.
The beauty of what Christ does is that whatever we expose to him becomes a surface that reflects his glory. I think this is what it means when Paul says "for anything that becomes visible is light." Anything, whether it be our gifts, our good works, our obedience and even our sin, when it comes into the light of Christ becomes something that reflects the glory of who he is.
Now exposure in this sense is not simply letting everybody know what this thing is, whether good or evil. It is exposure to men AND exposure to the sanctification of God through the Holy Spirit. I am by no means advocating the continuation of sin because God is glorified by it. However, as children of grace being sanctified by his Spirit, I am saying that even the darkest moments of our depravity, when exposed to God and to men, is a testimony of the overwhelming beauty and glory of God and his Christ. It shows the depth of grace that God wields to save us and the depth of goodness that God has to fill us and the depth of love that God feels for him to even want to do either.
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed..." James 5:16
God, you are in fact light. You are the source of the universe which all things reflect. Thank you that this light cannot be overcome by any darkness, even the darkness of our depravity. Help us to bring what was once done in darkness into light so that we can show just how beautiful you are, just how fulfilling you are, and just how gracious you are to a world that is settling for the very things that we used to settle for. Show in us and through us just what it is that you have to offer a dieing and depraved world. Help us reflect your glory.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Greater Blessings
I mentioned this before and if you know me, I have never been otherwise.
I am single. I like long walks on the beach, sunsets, poetry, moonlit walks in the woods in the snow...oh wait...that was for my E-Hamony profile, not here...sorry. Though all of these things are true ; )
I have noticed something and it gets stronger every year I remain single. People around me want me to get married. This is all well and good. They want me to be happy. They want what they have for me.
The problem is, I start to want it.
I am desperately thirsty. There is much beauty and much grace and much growth in marriage. It is God's illustration to us of Christ and his church. There is much that marriage makes real to us: our sinful nature, a practical realization of how much God loves us, a close look into the design that God has for us as humans that function in one body. I get thirsty for that and at times will fix my mind on it.
The problem is, if its not God's time, this want leads me down the wrong path, a path of false intimacy, of depression, of utter distraction and bad stewardship of the gifts and skills God has given me. No amount of "God has a plan," or "The perfect person is waiting for you just around the corner," will satisfy my thirst.
Thank God that he is a generous and giving God. He does not expect me to give up everything for nothing in return. He faithfully gives everything to those who will give up anything.
"Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord say, “The Lord will surely separate me from his people”; and let not the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.” For thus says the Lord: “To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off." Isaiah 56:3-5
"Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,’ says the Lord” Isaiah 54:1
John Piper says this in his exegisis of this passage.
"Take heed here lest you minimize what I am saying and do not hear how radical it really is. I am not sentimentalizing singleness to make the unmarried feel good. I am declaring the temporary and secondary nature of marriage and family over against the eternal and primary nature of the church. Marriage and family are temporary for this age; the church is forever. I am declaring the radical biblical truth that being in a human family is no sign of eternal blessing, but being in God’s family means being eternally blessed. Relationships based on family are temporary. Relationships based on union with Christ are eternal."
In prophesying the coming of Christ and the New Covenant, Isaiah is pointing to a radical shift in culture, that the offspring that God cares about are not phyiscal offspring, but spiritual offspring. This is emphasized in his prophesy of Christ in Isaiah 53, “It was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.” (quoted and emphasized by Piper in the same sermon).
Now I am not trying to make an unfair judgement on married couples. The reward for spiritual offspring is for all of God's faithful. What the text says is that the blessings of spiritual offspring is better than the blessings of physical offpring, and that one who is barren physically but faithful spiritually can have more spiritual offspring in eternity than one who is married. The math is simple. Marraige takes a ton of time and raising children even more. Parents have to do both, raising phyiscal and spiritual offspring, a full time ministry if there ever was one, one that will have unique heavenly rewards. After all, there must be a next generation of parents and singles to carry on after we are gone right? Singles can take all that time and energy and pour it forth fully to the birthing and discipling of spiritual offspring and God promises to reward us handsomly for doing so.
So what does God do? He takes my thirst for something now and gives me a taste of something greater. In this wilderness, he tells me that singleness is not a space between times, a transition into "real life". He tells me "Come! See what I have for you! I will give you over and abundantly more than you can imagine. Now do my work." I taste and see that the Lord is good and it quenches my thirst.
So to all of those around me who inadvertantly and well-meaningly make me thirsty for something that God does not have for me now, ask me what I am doing, not who I am dating. Pray that I will win souls in my workplace, my ministries, my friendships, not that I will win the heart of a woman. Don't be disappointed when I am not seeing someone, be disappointed when I see a chance to share the Gospel and forgoe it. Whet my appetitie for heaven, not my appetite for intimacy. Make me thirsty for what God wants me to be thristy for and help me run to the fountain of living waters to be filled. I will be happier there than any other place, I promise.
And when the day and opportunity comes when I need the help of another in order to accomplish this call of God, there will be someone there, probably joining me on a beach watching a sunset. I hear the sand at Eagle Creek Resevoir is pretty nice.
Here is the link to John Piper's full sermon. http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/single-in-christ-a-name-better-than-sons-and-daughters
I am single. I like long walks on the beach, sunsets, poetry, moonlit walks in the woods in the snow...oh wait...that was for my E-Hamony profile, not here...sorry. Though all of these things are true ; )
I have noticed something and it gets stronger every year I remain single. People around me want me to get married. This is all well and good. They want me to be happy. They want what they have for me.
The problem is, I start to want it.
I am desperately thirsty. There is much beauty and much grace and much growth in marriage. It is God's illustration to us of Christ and his church. There is much that marriage makes real to us: our sinful nature, a practical realization of how much God loves us, a close look into the design that God has for us as humans that function in one body. I get thirsty for that and at times will fix my mind on it.
The problem is, if its not God's time, this want leads me down the wrong path, a path of false intimacy, of depression, of utter distraction and bad stewardship of the gifts and skills God has given me. No amount of "God has a plan," or "The perfect person is waiting for you just around the corner," will satisfy my thirst.
Thank God that he is a generous and giving God. He does not expect me to give up everything for nothing in return. He faithfully gives everything to those who will give up anything.
"Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord say, “The Lord will surely separate me from his people”; and let not the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.” For thus says the Lord: “To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off." Isaiah 56:3-5
"Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,’ says the Lord” Isaiah 54:1
John Piper says this in his exegisis of this passage.
"Take heed here lest you minimize what I am saying and do not hear how radical it really is. I am not sentimentalizing singleness to make the unmarried feel good. I am declaring the temporary and secondary nature of marriage and family over against the eternal and primary nature of the church. Marriage and family are temporary for this age; the church is forever. I am declaring the radical biblical truth that being in a human family is no sign of eternal blessing, but being in God’s family means being eternally blessed. Relationships based on family are temporary. Relationships based on union with Christ are eternal."
In prophesying the coming of Christ and the New Covenant, Isaiah is pointing to a radical shift in culture, that the offspring that God cares about are not phyiscal offspring, but spiritual offspring. This is emphasized in his prophesy of Christ in Isaiah 53, “It was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.” (quoted and emphasized by Piper in the same sermon).
Now I am not trying to make an unfair judgement on married couples. The reward for spiritual offspring is for all of God's faithful. What the text says is that the blessings of spiritual offspring is better than the blessings of physical offpring, and that one who is barren physically but faithful spiritually can have more spiritual offspring in eternity than one who is married. The math is simple. Marraige takes a ton of time and raising children even more. Parents have to do both, raising phyiscal and spiritual offspring, a full time ministry if there ever was one, one that will have unique heavenly rewards. After all, there must be a next generation of parents and singles to carry on after we are gone right? Singles can take all that time and energy and pour it forth fully to the birthing and discipling of spiritual offspring and God promises to reward us handsomly for doing so.
So what does God do? He takes my thirst for something now and gives me a taste of something greater. In this wilderness, he tells me that singleness is not a space between times, a transition into "real life". He tells me "Come! See what I have for you! I will give you over and abundantly more than you can imagine. Now do my work." I taste and see that the Lord is good and it quenches my thirst.
So to all of those around me who inadvertantly and well-meaningly make me thirsty for something that God does not have for me now, ask me what I am doing, not who I am dating. Pray that I will win souls in my workplace, my ministries, my friendships, not that I will win the heart of a woman. Don't be disappointed when I am not seeing someone, be disappointed when I see a chance to share the Gospel and forgoe it. Whet my appetitie for heaven, not my appetite for intimacy. Make me thirsty for what God wants me to be thristy for and help me run to the fountain of living waters to be filled. I will be happier there than any other place, I promise.
And when the day and opportunity comes when I need the help of another in order to accomplish this call of God, there will be someone there, probably joining me on a beach watching a sunset. I hear the sand at Eagle Creek Resevoir is pretty nice.
Here is the link to John Piper's full sermon. http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/single-in-christ-a-name-better-than-sons-and-daughters
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Success and Failure
I am a performer, not just in the sense of I get in front of people and sing, but also in the sense that I judge myself by my performance all the time. I've been an athlete, an entertainer, a worship leader and much more. I've had a lot of great moments of success.
Side note, I think this is why I like video games. I don't want to just passively watch another world. I want to do something in it. I want to win. And I'm not a really firey, in-your-face competitor. I just quietly and calmly destroy you. Play Mario Kart with me some time. I don't care if its your first time, I will lap you. There is no going easy. I will use the power slide boost on every curve I can (don't know what that is? yeah. I know all the moves).
The flip side of this is I despise failure. I judge myself harshly when I lose. I go over every mistake and analyze the performance and make myself better. Heck, if I don't win by enough, I still do that.
I tend to do this in the Christian life too. I am desperately thirsty. I want to succeed. I want to accomplish. I want to be perfect. I want God to be near me because I am so awesome. But guess what? (News flash to me) I am not awesome (Most of you probably knew this already). I am pretty awful at being Christ like, and I fall into this spiraling pit of despair and hopelessness because I can't seem to succeed. Since I want God to be near me because I am awesome, I also think that there is no way God will want me near when I am not. I ask the question of God often, "God why do you bother with me? I am such a failure! You have to work so hard on me! Why do you try?"
"We acknowledge our wickedness, O LORD, and the iniquity of our fathers, for we have sinned against you. Do not spurn us, for your name's sake; do not dishonor your glorious throne; remember and do not break your covenant with us." Jeremiah 14:20-21.
God entered into a covenant relationship with the nation of Israel. He calls them to obey and he promises to be near them and to make them his holy people. The problem is they fail. Repeatedly. Horribly. But this was not a contract. God did not say if you obey me, I will make you my people. He said obey AND I will make you my people. And this verse tells us why. Its for His name's sake, for his glory. God's nearness to us and his salvation have nothing to do with our performance and has everything to do with his character. David says the same thing in Psalm 51.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
We have a God who judges us not based on our work but based on his grace. All we have to do is believe in it. This is such a balm for my soul when my mind is wracked with failure. His grace is not dependent upon me. He remains near to me because he is awesome.
If we are honest with ourselves, its not really the success that drives us or failure that depresses us. It is the results of these things. We want the noteriety, the money, the respect, the power, the adulation and we despise the humiliation and the lack of reward. God enters into our world and says "Don't worry about that. Here is your result. You can have it. Its yours. Now LIVE WITHOUT FEAR. Live with EAGER EXPECTATION. LIVE FOR ME."
"With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation." Isaiah 12:3.
What about you? How often do you find yourself falling into a performance mentality?
Side note, I think this is why I like video games. I don't want to just passively watch another world. I want to do something in it. I want to win. And I'm not a really firey, in-your-face competitor. I just quietly and calmly destroy you. Play Mario Kart with me some time. I don't care if its your first time, I will lap you. There is no going easy. I will use the power slide boost on every curve I can (don't know what that is? yeah. I know all the moves).
The flip side of this is I despise failure. I judge myself harshly when I lose. I go over every mistake and analyze the performance and make myself better. Heck, if I don't win by enough, I still do that.
I tend to do this in the Christian life too. I am desperately thirsty. I want to succeed. I want to accomplish. I want to be perfect. I want God to be near me because I am so awesome. But guess what? (News flash to me) I am not awesome (Most of you probably knew this already). I am pretty awful at being Christ like, and I fall into this spiraling pit of despair and hopelessness because I can't seem to succeed. Since I want God to be near me because I am awesome, I also think that there is no way God will want me near when I am not. I ask the question of God often, "God why do you bother with me? I am such a failure! You have to work so hard on me! Why do you try?"
"We acknowledge our wickedness, O LORD, and the iniquity of our fathers, for we have sinned against you. Do not spurn us, for your name's sake; do not dishonor your glorious throne; remember and do not break your covenant with us." Jeremiah 14:20-21.
God entered into a covenant relationship with the nation of Israel. He calls them to obey and he promises to be near them and to make them his holy people. The problem is they fail. Repeatedly. Horribly. But this was not a contract. God did not say if you obey me, I will make you my people. He said obey AND I will make you my people. And this verse tells us why. Its for His name's sake, for his glory. God's nearness to us and his salvation have nothing to do with our performance and has everything to do with his character. David says the same thing in Psalm 51.
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!
We have a God who judges us not based on our work but based on his grace. All we have to do is believe in it. This is such a balm for my soul when my mind is wracked with failure. His grace is not dependent upon me. He remains near to me because he is awesome.
If we are honest with ourselves, its not really the success that drives us or failure that depresses us. It is the results of these things. We want the noteriety, the money, the respect, the power, the adulation and we despise the humiliation and the lack of reward. God enters into our world and says "Don't worry about that. Here is your result. You can have it. Its yours. Now LIVE WITHOUT FEAR. Live with EAGER EXPECTATION. LIVE FOR ME."
"With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation." Isaiah 12:3.
What about you? How often do you find yourself falling into a performance mentality?
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Shame and Approval
How much of what we do and feel on a day to day basis is based on what the people around us think? Think about how we dress. The phrase "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that..." should be finished with the phrase "because people will think I am _____" nearly every time. Side note, I definately have something that most people would not be caught dead in. Its on Facebook. Lets just say its orange, and they are somewhere between shorts and pants. Oh yes. Find it. I'm not ashamed : p
Here is what still gets me. When I am with people at work or in social situations outside of church and the topic of sex comes up, why do I have that moment of embarrasment that I am still a virgin? Why do I have the urge to look down and away and admit it quietly? I'm 26, have been saying this for years, and STILL I can't get over that first gut reaction.
On the other side, whenever the subject of partying comes up, I feel an irresitable urge to tell of my college exploits, the crazy drinks I have had, the crazy things I have done, whatever. I strive to identify with them. I can't bring myself not to mention it.
WHY?
Its shame. I wonder if people will approve. I wonder what they will think. How I will look in their eyes. How I will be dismissed in their mind.
I am desperately thirsty. I am an attention whore. My greatest social fear, more than embarrassment (because that gives you attention), is to be dismissed. Irrelevent. Looked down upon. I want to command respect and attention, whatever the cost.
"Yes I will rejoice, because I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance as it it my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage, now as always, Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Phil 1: 18-21
Many things are wrapped up in this passage. What it is saying to me today is that there will be no shame at the revelation of Jesus Christ for the things that I did in his name, even from those that seek to shame me now. I believe that part of what it means when "every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord to the glory of God the Father" is that those who chose Christ will be looked upon on that day and everyone will think, "yeah, they made a good choice". Our decisions to be pure, to be sober, to be poor, to be giving, to be disciplined will be looked upon by all as right and good. What choice will everyone have when God himself gives his approval and gives us his reward?
As always, I settle for a shadow. I settle for the approval of a few now instead of the approval by ALL later. As with any desire, approval is not wrong itself. The desire is designed to drive us to God and his purpose. Paul says that this moment is his eager expectation and hope. He longs for that moment when his actions, choices and sacrifices will be vindicated by God in the sight of all men.
So I drink deeply of this water, this promise that even this desire will be fulfilled on that day. I pray that God will imbed into my heart that this future fulfillment is enough to quench my thrist now and that will "press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus," because one day, I will be caught dead doing something. Will I be ashamed then? Only by the grace of God will I not.
But I would still be careful about what you wear in public. Especially if they are orange capris. That may never be vindicated, by anybody. But hey, at least they matched my shoes...wait what?
Oh yes.
What about you? How does shame play a part in your day to day life? Is it time to overcome them?
Here is what still gets me. When I am with people at work or in social situations outside of church and the topic of sex comes up, why do I have that moment of embarrasment that I am still a virgin? Why do I have the urge to look down and away and admit it quietly? I'm 26, have been saying this for years, and STILL I can't get over that first gut reaction.
On the other side, whenever the subject of partying comes up, I feel an irresitable urge to tell of my college exploits, the crazy drinks I have had, the crazy things I have done, whatever. I strive to identify with them. I can't bring myself not to mention it.
WHY?
Its shame. I wonder if people will approve. I wonder what they will think. How I will look in their eyes. How I will be dismissed in their mind.
I am desperately thirsty. I am an attention whore. My greatest social fear, more than embarrassment (because that gives you attention), is to be dismissed. Irrelevent. Looked down upon. I want to command respect and attention, whatever the cost.
"Yes I will rejoice, because I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance as it it my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage, now as always, Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Phil 1: 18-21
Many things are wrapped up in this passage. What it is saying to me today is that there will be no shame at the revelation of Jesus Christ for the things that I did in his name, even from those that seek to shame me now. I believe that part of what it means when "every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord to the glory of God the Father" is that those who chose Christ will be looked upon on that day and everyone will think, "yeah, they made a good choice". Our decisions to be pure, to be sober, to be poor, to be giving, to be disciplined will be looked upon by all as right and good. What choice will everyone have when God himself gives his approval and gives us his reward?
As always, I settle for a shadow. I settle for the approval of a few now instead of the approval by ALL later. As with any desire, approval is not wrong itself. The desire is designed to drive us to God and his purpose. Paul says that this moment is his eager expectation and hope. He longs for that moment when his actions, choices and sacrifices will be vindicated by God in the sight of all men.
So I drink deeply of this water, this promise that even this desire will be fulfilled on that day. I pray that God will imbed into my heart that this future fulfillment is enough to quench my thrist now and that will "press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus," because one day, I will be caught dead doing something. Will I be ashamed then? Only by the grace of God will I not.
But I would still be careful about what you wear in public. Especially if they are orange capris. That may never be vindicated, by anybody. But hey, at least they matched my shoes...wait what?
Oh yes.
What about you? How does shame play a part in your day to day life? Is it time to overcome them?
Monday, January 2, 2012
Escapism
I am an escapist. I run to stories, to other worlds, to lives created by others in situations created by others in order to live a life more interesting than mine. Allow me to spell it out a bit for you. If ever you were unsure of how big of a dork I am, I am putting that argument to rest, once and for all.
I own over 70 Star Wars novels and have read them all multiple times.
I have invested over 350 hours into Tales RPG's over the last 2 years.
In the last two months alone, I have put in 71 hours into the DotA 2 beta.
I don't even want to know how many hours have gone into DotA. I know that I have something around 1000 matches, lasting an average of 30 min.
I have a full terrabyte of anime on my hard drive. Honestly, I don't feel like calculating how many hours of TV that is.
A quick note for those who say "That's why you are still single." The other friends that I play DotA with are all married and they actually play more than I do. So I have many other problems when it comes to that. Just sayin : p
I said it before, I am desperately thirsty. There is a desire deep down in my soul for a better life, a better self, a better country
What does God give me in order to satify this desire for more? For something better?
Hebrews 11:9-10 "By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God."
Hebrews 11:26 "(Moses) considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward."
Heb 12:22-23 "But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God..."
Phil 3:19-20 "Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body by the power than enables him even to subject all things to himself."
And so much more. All of Revelation 21 and 22. References in Psalms and the prophets to the coming Kingdom of God. God puts in us an insatiable desire for perfections, something that is far better than what we see and experience here. He gives us a vision in his Word to quench that desire, to motivate us to do everything we can to reach that land, that place, that life, that body. But like everything else, we settle for what the world tells us is a good land, a good place, a good life, a good body (think superpowers, not supermodels. This is not a treatise on sexual exploitation.)
Now, I not going to swear off any of these things, nor would I ever encourage anyone to. However, what I will do and what I will pray is as follows.
"God, thank you for your grace that you offer us such an eternity. Help me to meditate on it more and more. Help the vision of what you have for me and how it is that you want me to get there begin to eclipse all other desires. Let everything else begin to feel empty and insufficient compared to your gift of this amazing reward."
"One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.
I own over 70 Star Wars novels and have read them all multiple times.
I have invested over 350 hours into Tales RPG's over the last 2 years.
In the last two months alone, I have put in 71 hours into the DotA 2 beta.
I don't even want to know how many hours have gone into DotA. I know that I have something around 1000 matches, lasting an average of 30 min.
I have a full terrabyte of anime on my hard drive. Honestly, I don't feel like calculating how many hours of TV that is.
A quick note for those who say "That's why you are still single." The other friends that I play DotA with are all married and they actually play more than I do. So I have many other problems when it comes to that. Just sayin : p
I said it before, I am desperately thirsty. There is a desire deep down in my soul for a better life, a better self, a better country
What does God give me in order to satify this desire for more? For something better?
Hebrews 11:9-10 "By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God."
Hebrews 11:26 "(Moses) considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward."
Heb 12:22-23 "But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God..."
Phil 3:19-20 "Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body by the power than enables him even to subject all things to himself."
And so much more. All of Revelation 21 and 22. References in Psalms and the prophets to the coming Kingdom of God. God puts in us an insatiable desire for perfections, something that is far better than what we see and experience here. He gives us a vision in his Word to quench that desire, to motivate us to do everything we can to reach that land, that place, that life, that body. But like everything else, we settle for what the world tells us is a good land, a good place, a good life, a good body (think superpowers, not supermodels. This is not a treatise on sexual exploitation.)
Now, I not going to swear off any of these things, nor would I ever encourage anyone to. However, what I will do and what I will pray is as follows.
"God, thank you for your grace that you offer us such an eternity. Help me to meditate on it more and more. Help the vision of what you have for me and how it is that you want me to get there begin to eclipse all other desires. Let everything else begin to feel empty and insufficient compared to your gift of this amazing reward."
"One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Introduction
Writing has been an odd constant in my life. I wouldn't say I journal or write diaries. I don't write manuscripts or short stories or songs or novels. What I do is take meticulous notes.
"Notes? Really? That's not writing!!"
Normally, you would be right. Notes tend to be shorthand thoughts to be perused later in preparation for something greater. There is little thought or effort that goes into notes. But those aren't my notes. My notes are written in complete sentences. With punctuation. My notes have paragraph breaks. My notes have summary statements where summary statements should be, with introductions and conclusions. My notes aren't revisited and complied into a greater work. They often are my work. I don't know what goes on in my brain as I process information, whether its different or faster or slower than other people, but my thoughts come out naturally in grammatically correct, organized sentences, paragraphs and papers.
When I started talking about writing a blog, many of my friends said, "I'm surprised you don't have one already." I don't really know what kept me. I guess it was my dislike for following trends for the sake of being trendy. I didn't want to do it because everybody else was doing it. I wanted to do it for a reason.
I believe that reason has finally made itself clear.
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will giver her her vineyards and make the Valley of Trouble a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt." Hosea 2:14-15.
"When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them. I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys, I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. I will put in the wilderness the cedar, the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive. I will set in the desert the cypress, the plane and the pine together, that they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it." Isaiah 41:17-20
I am a desperately thirsty person. I am constantly digging for myself new wells, building new cisterns, finding new sources, and God regularly pulls me into the wilderness where I have no hope of quenching any thirst and makes the desert spring with life and water like he shows in these verses, filling me in a way that I was never able to with my own efforts. That is what I want to chronicle, scriptures and theology that God has provided for me in the past, that are filling me now in the present, and that I will drink deeply of and be satisfied with in the future. I trust that you too are thirsty because you too are human. I pray that verses and truth here can help turn you to this fountain of living waters, to drink deeply and with joy from the well of salvation. And if nothing else, it will remind me that the only times in my life where I have ever had my thirst quenched is when I have drunk deeply of the water that he gives. So I hope you come with me and drink deeply of this water that God provides so faithfully here in our wilderness, the wilderness that God himself allures is into.
"Notes? Really? That's not writing!!"
Normally, you would be right. Notes tend to be shorthand thoughts to be perused later in preparation for something greater. There is little thought or effort that goes into notes. But those aren't my notes. My notes are written in complete sentences. With punctuation. My notes have paragraph breaks. My notes have summary statements where summary statements should be, with introductions and conclusions. My notes aren't revisited and complied into a greater work. They often are my work. I don't know what goes on in my brain as I process information, whether its different or faster or slower than other people, but my thoughts come out naturally in grammatically correct, organized sentences, paragraphs and papers.
When I started talking about writing a blog, many of my friends said, "I'm surprised you don't have one already." I don't really know what kept me. I guess it was my dislike for following trends for the sake of being trendy. I didn't want to do it because everybody else was doing it. I wanted to do it for a reason.
I believe that reason has finally made itself clear.
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will giver her her vineyards and make the Valley of Trouble a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt." Hosea 2:14-15.
"When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them. I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys, I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water. I will put in the wilderness the cedar, the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive. I will set in the desert the cypress, the plane and the pine together, that they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it." Isaiah 41:17-20
I am a desperately thirsty person. I am constantly digging for myself new wells, building new cisterns, finding new sources, and God regularly pulls me into the wilderness where I have no hope of quenching any thirst and makes the desert spring with life and water like he shows in these verses, filling me in a way that I was never able to with my own efforts. That is what I want to chronicle, scriptures and theology that God has provided for me in the past, that are filling me now in the present, and that I will drink deeply of and be satisfied with in the future. I trust that you too are thirsty because you too are human. I pray that verses and truth here can help turn you to this fountain of living waters, to drink deeply and with joy from the well of salvation. And if nothing else, it will remind me that the only times in my life where I have ever had my thirst quenched is when I have drunk deeply of the water that he gives. So I hope you come with me and drink deeply of this water that God provides so faithfully here in our wilderness, the wilderness that God himself allures is into.
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