Doubts and Decisions

Humans are masters at subtext. We will say something and everybody who hears it understands what was not said. I think this is especially true when we are tearing another person down. Beneath nearly all gossip is the understood subtext "I would never do that/say that/be that way. Aren't I a better person than them?"

These words are rarely used but they are in fact a big reason why gossip is so tempting. We want to make ourselves look better, even at the expense of other people. The gossip is the pretext to communicate the subtext within the context of another life.

We don't just do that with the people around us. We do it to people in the Bible as well. We make fun of Peter's foot-in-mouth syndrome and neglect that fact that our prayers communicate to God ideas that are just as naive or foolhardy. We call James and John the "Sons of Thunder" when we are just as quick to cast judgement upon the people around us, casting our own condemnation of hell upon them by not sharing the Gospel because "they wouldn't listen anyway". We bash the Pharisees and rightfully so. But how often do we look at the staples of our Christian life in the same way that they looked at their Jewish traditions? Do I need to bring up all the arguments about worship styles, Bible translations, length and content of quiet times, the way we pray and so on and so on? Oh yeah, we are Pharisees just as much as they were.

There is another person of the Bible that gets a bad rap because we want to feel better about ourselves. However, when we understand that this character stands not as an example of human frailty but as an example of the immense grace of God, our hearts will be filled in an entirely different way.

That man is Thomas.

We call him "Doubting Thomas" because he was the last disciple to believe that God had raised Jesus from the dead. We hear Jesus' words to him after he believes "blessed are those who have not seen yet still believe" and we think, "Yeah! I haven't seen and I believe! I'm more blessed than he was!" We feel good and don't really want to dive deeper into this story and walk in Thomas' shoes. We do ourselves and God a major disservice when we move on from this passage with scarcely a thought.

So a few observations...

First, why don't we call Peter "Doubting Peter"? When Mary and Martha told him that Jesus had risen, he didn't believe then and ran to the tomb to see himself. Didn't he, by his actions, declare the same thing that Thomas declared? "Until I see with my own eyes..." 

Second, its not as if the other 10 disciples believed without seeing. Jesus appeared to them. They saw. They needed to see just as much as Thomas did. Jesus told them  And he said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is I myself. Touch me, and see. For a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. And while they still disbelieved for joy and were marveling, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate before them." Luke 24:38-43. The other disciples were not quoted as saying such things but they felt and needed and received everything for which Thomas asked. All Thomas was saying was "Give me the same thing!"

Third and most important, Jesus gives Thomas exactly what he asked for. Jesus gives him everything he needs to believe. Don't miss the grace in this. Don't miss the love in this. Jesus says "I heard you and I want you to believe in me. Look, here is the proof that you wanted." God doesn't have to do anything for anybody. He could have come to Thomas in a vision. He could have appeared and done other miracles. He could have allowed the testimony of the other disciples time to do its work. Instead, Jesus comes himself, holds Thomas by the hand and says "Look at what I have done for you. Look at what I continue to do for you. Believe in me, Trust me." 

There is another story, back in the old testament. Gideon was given a task. He heard a word from the Lord to go and attack the Midianites. However, he wasn't sure if he had really heard God or not. He wanted to make certain. So he conducts a test. Twice actually, just to make absolute certain. What does God do? Without a hint of anger or rebuke, he answers. God gives Gideon everything he needs to believe and to act. What grace!! What an amazing portrait of just what God will do to show himself to us! What does that say about him? The God of the universe in whose very creation that we live bothers to create and bolster in us faith by revealing to us himself in exactly the way we need. He doesn't leave it to creation or miracles or past actions. He acts now and for us specifically. 


I am desperately thirsty, and like most thirsty people, I want assurance that water is nearby. When something new is on the horizon, some unknown journey or trial, I want to see my assurance. I want proof that I will be provided for and that I am not mindlessly and groundlessly stepping forward. In other words, I have my doubts. The promise of these two accounts is that if I ask, God will show me exactly what I need. God is so rich in mercy and loves us so thoroughly that he will reach down and give us the assurance that we ask for. 


Thomas was confronted with a crazy proposition. He was being asked to believe that this man who had died was the Messiah. He knew that if he ascribed to this, his life would be changed forever. He wanted to believe, but he needed the same proof that the others had. God gave it to him. Thomas was then filled with faith that would empower him for the rest of his life to do amazing things and die for the proclamation of the Gospel.

So what does Jesus mean when he says "blessed are those who have not seen and still believe"? I think he means that the same faith that the apostles had, that same world changing, death defying, passion fueling faith that they received by looking at Jesus will be received by us, even though we have not seen him for ourselves.

That power, that assurance is available to us. All we have to do is ask him, and he will give us what we need. It won't be Christ standing before us, but it will be enough. He promises us that.