Why do singles hate Valentine's Day?
We say its overly commercialized, a Hallmark holiday. We say that the expectations are too much, the romance too contrived, too arbitrary, too influenced by the companies peddling their wares.
In reality we hate it because we feel like there is nothing for us on this day. The proof that those other reasons are mere fronts for our real feelings? While a single may rail about these evils year after year, once their first Valentine's day with someone they love arrives, those objections are long forgotten as they are caught in the bliss and celebration of a love they finally found, or have perhaps recovered.
On one level, there is nothing wrong with that. If in fact there is nothing for single people on Valentine's day, then a certain amount of bitterness is justified. Why should the people who have celebrate in the face of those who have not? If we see an image of the ultra rich reveling on the streets in front of those in poverty, throwing money away because they can in front of those who don't have enough to survive, we feel a sense of injustice, and rightly so.
So is this what Valentine's day is? Is it us against them? The haves and the have not's?
If we feel this way, we are believing a lie.
We have believed that marriage is ultimate. We have believed that marriage is the greatest expression of love on the earth and since we don't have it, we are missing out. If we do have it, we have accomplished or have experienced the greatest thing this side of heaven.
This lie is not a product of our culture, of our money hungry companies out there to tell us anything they can to make a quick buck. This lie is a product of our own hearts. The Jews in the times of Jesus also believed this. In speaking to the Pharisees, Jesus puts human marriage in its rightful place.
"But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." Matthew 22:29-30.
We like the fairy tales and the romance novels. "We will be together forever." It is romantic and sensational. We look into the eyes of one who loves us for who we are, not what we have done (hopefully) and we know we don't ever want to be apart from that. We want that for as long as we exist, well into the depths of eternity. We can't imagine that anyone else will love us that way. We see this as ultimate and nothing could be better.
Paul says in Ephesians 5:31-32
"'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."
What the Bible tells us that the ultimate expression of love is Christ, his incarnation, his life, his death, his resurrection. Nothing is greater. It says marriage refers to this. Marriage is a taste of this. And as great of a taste it is, it is not THE taste, it is A taste.
Marriage is not ultimate. So there is no "missing out". There should be no "us" and "them", the "haves" and the "have nots". If we have been adopted as his sons and daughters we all have, and we all have it equally.
The applications are many. First, singles, let us celebrate along with our married friends. Don't make them walk on eggshells, afraid to remind us of what we "don't have". They experience an amazing picture of God's love and it is worth celebrating.
Second, let us celebrate what we do have. We get tastes of this same love as well, for the basis of that taste is our adoption as sons and daughters of God. Knowing this for ourselves, leading others to it, sharing in the experience of adoption with others. We see these as less of an experience because we have built up the other too high in our own minds.
Third, if marriage is a taste of Christ, then there are in fact "have nots". Not singles but those who are without Christ. Let us not forget them. Is that not what St Valentine was doing anyway? Loving those who needed it, sharing the gospel with those who had not heard?
I am desperately thirsty and I want everything that God has for me. I want to taste and see that the Lord is good. I want to experience all the fullness of all the glory of God's love through Christ. He is helping me realize that marriage is not THE way he does this. He fills me with promises, making me remember that heaven will be the same, whether I marry on earth or not. He tells me, "You already know this love, go share it." He adopts me as his son, not because of what I have done but because of who he is and what he has created me to be. I know this love and will gladly celebrate it today.
Happy Valentine's day.
Showing posts with label Ephesians 5. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ephesians 5. Show all posts
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Into the Light
Most of us have things we would rather keep in the dark, little idiocycracies that we fear may change the way people look at us. I had a roomate in college, for example who kept secret for a long time his guilty pleasure TV show, one inherited from an old girlfriend of his. Incidentally, it kind of became a guilty pleasure show for all of us, so I definately identify with the reason he kept it a secret for as long as he could. What show was it? Well, let just say its about some girls that go by the name of Gilmore.
Those of you reading this that did not know that, your perception of me changed a bit didn't it?
And yet, you get a more complete picture of who I am. My words and opinions can now be evaluated as those coming from one who appreciates snarky dialog, complex relationships and societal expectations. What is exposed gives meaning and nuance and significance to the object in question.
I have many more guilty pleasures, pleasures that aren't nearly as innocent as television shows about young, rich, witty women. I am, as I have said, desperately thirsty. These pleasures are ones that I would much rather keep in the dark and never expose to the light of day, to the light of public opinion and to the light of truth. These are all encompassing. Do I really want people to know how much I enjoy tearing people down with smart sarcasm? How I revel in the rush of power I feel when expressing anger? How I love the sense of accomplishment when I successfully tell a lie? How I long for the giddiness and carelessness that comes with being drunk? How I relish the false intimacy of a relationship that begins and ends at a club or even a screen? What happens when this is exposed?
"for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light." Ephesians 5:8-14a
Right at the end of this passage is this amazing truth buried in a metaphor of the physcial world. What we don't often think about is that everything we "see" in this world is really just rays of light from our sun. These rays come from millions of miles away, reflect off of objects, losing some of its characteristics but retaining its essence, and enter into our eyes for our brains to process. What we actually see is the light of the source reflected off of exposed surfaces.
The beauty of what Christ does is that whatever we expose to him becomes a surface that reflects his glory. I think this is what it means when Paul says "for anything that becomes visible is light." Anything, whether it be our gifts, our good works, our obedience and even our sin, when it comes into the light of Christ becomes something that reflects the glory of who he is.
Now exposure in this sense is not simply letting everybody know what this thing is, whether good or evil. It is exposure to men AND exposure to the sanctification of God through the Holy Spirit. I am by no means advocating the continuation of sin because God is glorified by it. However, as children of grace being sanctified by his Spirit, I am saying that even the darkest moments of our depravity, when exposed to God and to men, is a testimony of the overwhelming beauty and glory of God and his Christ. It shows the depth of grace that God wields to save us and the depth of goodness that God has to fill us and the depth of love that God feels for him to even want to do either.
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed..." James 5:16
God, you are in fact light. You are the source of the universe which all things reflect. Thank you that this light cannot be overcome by any darkness, even the darkness of our depravity. Help us to bring what was once done in darkness into light so that we can show just how beautiful you are, just how fulfilling you are, and just how gracious you are to a world that is settling for the very things that we used to settle for. Show in us and through us just what it is that you have to offer a dieing and depraved world. Help us reflect your glory.
Those of you reading this that did not know that, your perception of me changed a bit didn't it?
And yet, you get a more complete picture of who I am. My words and opinions can now be evaluated as those coming from one who appreciates snarky dialog, complex relationships and societal expectations. What is exposed gives meaning and nuance and significance to the object in question.
I have many more guilty pleasures, pleasures that aren't nearly as innocent as television shows about young, rich, witty women. I am, as I have said, desperately thirsty. These pleasures are ones that I would much rather keep in the dark and never expose to the light of day, to the light of public opinion and to the light of truth. These are all encompassing. Do I really want people to know how much I enjoy tearing people down with smart sarcasm? How I revel in the rush of power I feel when expressing anger? How I love the sense of accomplishment when I successfully tell a lie? How I long for the giddiness and carelessness that comes with being drunk? How I relish the false intimacy of a relationship that begins and ends at a club or even a screen? What happens when this is exposed?
"for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light." Ephesians 5:8-14a
Right at the end of this passage is this amazing truth buried in a metaphor of the physcial world. What we don't often think about is that everything we "see" in this world is really just rays of light from our sun. These rays come from millions of miles away, reflect off of objects, losing some of its characteristics but retaining its essence, and enter into our eyes for our brains to process. What we actually see is the light of the source reflected off of exposed surfaces.
The beauty of what Christ does is that whatever we expose to him becomes a surface that reflects his glory. I think this is what it means when Paul says "for anything that becomes visible is light." Anything, whether it be our gifts, our good works, our obedience and even our sin, when it comes into the light of Christ becomes something that reflects the glory of who he is.
Now exposure in this sense is not simply letting everybody know what this thing is, whether good or evil. It is exposure to men AND exposure to the sanctification of God through the Holy Spirit. I am by no means advocating the continuation of sin because God is glorified by it. However, as children of grace being sanctified by his Spirit, I am saying that even the darkest moments of our depravity, when exposed to God and to men, is a testimony of the overwhelming beauty and glory of God and his Christ. It shows the depth of grace that God wields to save us and the depth of goodness that God has to fill us and the depth of love that God feels for him to even want to do either.
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed..." James 5:16
God, you are in fact light. You are the source of the universe which all things reflect. Thank you that this light cannot be overcome by any darkness, even the darkness of our depravity. Help us to bring what was once done in darkness into light so that we can show just how beautiful you are, just how fulfilling you are, and just how gracious you are to a world that is settling for the very things that we used to settle for. Show in us and through us just what it is that you have to offer a dieing and depraved world. Help us reflect your glory.
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